Hitchhikers guide to Watsons Crags (crabs) Ski Trip: Friday 19 August- Monday 22 August 2011

Intergalactic travelers: Chantal Bronkhorst, Jeremy-Vajj Platt and Jiri Svec.

Video of trip here: http://vimeo.com/28798472

-by Chantal Bronkhorst

In the beginning the Universe was created with Chantal, Jeremy-Vajj and Jiri
in it. This made a lot of people very angry and has been widely regarded as a bad move, since these intergalactic travelers would make many people feel inferior with their superior skiing skills.

Anyway, back to the story: The universe was created, then 13.75 Gigayears
later, the 19th of August 2011, the three Intergalactic travelers (Chantal, Jeremy-Vajj and Jiri) decided to go on an epic ski trip. The plan was to meet at Jiri’s place of residence at 4:30pm but our fellow traveler, Jeremy-Vajj, arrived at our meeting point (with the car) late. However, an intergalactic traveler is never late. Nor is he early. He arrives precisely when he means to. So all was good.

We stopped at the petrol station fueled the car and Jeremy bought himself
some items to stay awake (dared ice coffee, mars bar and snicker bar). This was when the young traveler, Chantal, realised that all of the travelers were of the same generation (gen y)…. Legally speaking.

The long drive continued, and it was time to bring out the Beatles tunes. It
was not long before we had already listened to each song on the CD three times. An unanimous vote was cast to listen to a new CD. Only problem was, we did not have too much variety to choose from.

The drive to the snowy mountains is far. Really far. You just won’t believe
how vastly, hugely, mindbogglingly far it is. I mean, you may think it’s a long way down the road to the chemist’s, but that’s just peanuts to the drive to the snowy mountains. Okay, maybe not that far, but it’s far.

We arrived at Cooma where we got our snow chains and Chantal hired some
ski’s- $70 for two days, not a bad price- and in record time we were on the road again.

We drove another 30km to Berridale where we found a nice bridge to sleep
under. We all picked our corners, some of us took longer to set up than others (Vajj- not mentioning names or anything). By 12:30am we were all in lala land and dreaming of only good things.

6am arrived, and we were on the road again…. The race was on for who could
see the snow first… Jiri won. 🙁 . We saw little drops… Was it hail? Was it rain? NO IT WAS SNOW! Needless to say, Chantal was rather entertained since this is the first time she saw falling snow.

The destination (aka the starting point) was reached and whilst Jeremy-Vajj
was finding a parking spot, Chantal and Jiri were practicing walking like a gangsta with their ski boots. The weight of all the backpacks were also compared. At this point it should be noted that Jeremy-Vajj had the lightest back pack. (Contact Vajj on some tips for extreme light packing).

The moment for us to put on our ski’s finally arrived when Jeremy-Vajj
returned. Needless to say , Jiri and Jeremy-Vajj, put on their ski’s….like pro’s. They then proceeded to do a synchronized 180 degree twist followed by a donnalova back flips(x10) all with his ski’s attached. As they did this Chantal’s mind sang with the ecstatic knowledge that either what they were doing was completely and utterly and totally impossible or that physics had a lot of catching up to do. (Nah, just kidding. For those gullible people out there.. Koi…)

Challenge one arrived for Chantal: Attaching the ski’s to the ski boots. Due
to her natural ability to do all things cool she succeeded with flying colours. (Oh, at this point it should be noted that this was Chantal’s first time on ski’s and pretty much the first time she saw snow.)

The long journey had begun. Jiri did some fancy ski foot work… Chantal was
rather envious of his mad skills to look stylish. A mini hill was approaching us. This was the perfect opportunity for us to subtly check out each others skiing skills (since non of us have ever skied together before.) Jeremy went first- after all, he was trip leader- and past the test with flying colours. Chantal was next, before she went down the mini hill (which at that point seemed like mount Everest) the following was thought of: “Anything that happens, happens. Anything that, in happening, causes something else to happen, causes something else to happen. Anything that, in happening, causes itself to happen again, happens again..” To some it up, she thought if she dies.. it will just happen.

She did not fall (or die)! Yay-me.

The day continued with some pretty amazing weather. The weather even lived
up to Jiri’s high expectations. Only the best weather conditions will do for him. *At this point of the trip report it should also be noted that Jiri only decided to join in on the trip Friday morning. He is the biggest snow snob I know.

Throughout the day I squeezed in some mind reading. Jeremy, the famous Vajj,
had very philosophical thoughts about man, who had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much — the wheel, New York, wars and so on — whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man — for precisely the same reasons. At that point Jeremy contemplated never working again and instead playing in the snow all day- building snow men, making snow angles ect.

We made our way up the first big-ish hill. (Sorry, I cannot remember the
name of the place). Chantal reached the top. Jiri was about to tell Chantal not to let her ski slide down the hill and into the river below us. He resisted telling her, since he thought she would have enough common sense… Little did he know….. She puts her ski’s down, and KABAM! The ski starts sliding, Chantal activates her super reflexes, but fails to realise the other ski is sliding too. At this point Jeremy decides to step in and tells Chantal to leave the first ski and save the second one. Good stuff Jeremy! What was the punishment you ask? … It was enough punishment to walk all the way down and back up to retrieve the ski, thank you very much. Good thing the ski did not slide into the water. May this be a lesson to everyone! “Happy turtle, sad turtle.”..

As our journey continued, the hills to climb seemed to get steeper and
higher, but we pressed on regardless. Jiri was lucky enough to have an iPod to his disposal; I believed he was listening to u2! The theory of gravity was soon proven as we were climbing up these hills. Chantal moved up the hills at approximately 2cm/step… and when she slipped back she slipped back at a rate of 5m/slip. Use your imagination to think what went through her mind whenever she slipped back. (This was when I made the discovery that I think in Afrikaans if I am annoyed and English in normal circumstances…) Good old Vajj concurred these hills and went up them in warp speed– Even though, according to him his ski boots were causing problems… Man up Vajj. At the same time Jiri was climbing the hills at 10m/step! Damn you people with the unfair advantages of long legs.

The final hill arrived. It was a big one, but it was all worth it, since the
ski down the hill at the end was more epic than awesome! The backpacks were dropped and tents setup, so it was time for some fun skiing.

During this session Chantal managed to ski down a hill at the speed of
light. (Not out of choice, but simply because she could not stop yet.) One of the problems has to do with the speed of light and the difficulties involved in trying to exceed it. You can’t. Nothing travels faster than the speed of light with the possible exception of bad news, which obeys its own special laws…. This was most certainly bad news (since a rock was fast approaching). Instead Chantal decided to “man it down.” In the meantime Jiri and Jeremy were showing off with their fancy skills.

It was time to head back and have some tea and food! (Once you stop skiing
you body temperature cools down at a crazy rate) . Jiri found a Nutri-Matic machine (his backpack), which had provided him with a plastic cup, filled with a liquid that was almost, but not quite, entirely unlike tea.

Whilst drinking tea we looked up at the stars. Looking up into the night sky
is like looking into infinity — distance is incomprehensible and therefore meaningless. On that philosophical note… Dinner was served and it was time for bed at about 8:15pm. We all had dreams of skiing.

Morning arrived and as we awoke we saw a more epic than awesome sunrise, our
feet defrosted, we had some breakfast and went for some skiing. We travelled up Mount Twynam, the third highest peak in Australia, good work peeps. Jiri showed us his pro skiing techniques, amongst others teaching Chantal to turn (without using shoulders). He then set himself the challenge to ski down a hugely steep hill (check the video)… I was scared for his life. Jeremy was happily recording him.

After that excitement we had to head back to our tents and pack our bags to
head back to the cars. The skiing was epic! It was all down hill.

We reached the car, took off our ski boots and could no longer walk normal.
Eeeek! Before we got on the long road back to Sydney, we had some Pizza, (where we saw Sierra- also from SUBW). This was when we heard ambulances race past. Oh no.

We were stuck in traffic for two hours, since there was an accident.

How did we entertain ourselves you ask?

• Jeremy slept on car bonnet.

• Chantal thought it looked cool and wanted to try it as well. Jiri and
Jeremy saw this as the ideal opportunity to get rid of Chantal for a while. They locked her out… 🙁 Eventually they let her back in.

• Skills testing for lying. Chantal fails at lying.

Traffic was over and we could head back. On the drive back we celebrated
Jiri’s birthday! Whoooo! What an awesome birthday gift we gave him… We made him drive.

The trip of epic-ness was over. Things to remember for the next trip

• Bring better music for the car.

• Pack an extra pair of gloves. (This way socks do not have to be utilized as gloves at night)

• Remember to bring the memory card for the camera.

So long peeps and thanks for all the fish!

Check out the video here: http://vimeo.com/28798472